The Long Twisted Journey That Could be My lIfe...I Am Not Sure...

Auslander

2011-03-22T15:26:00.001-04:00

Robert Brown
Modern Germany through Film
Fear Eats the Soul Response

In some ways, I can totally relate to this film because of my experience in Germany with Germans but not necessarily about me. I saw how some of my friends and acquaintances felt about Turks living in Germany “living off of the system” etc, and it forced me to look at my place in Germany. I often asked my good friend Carsten “what about me?” when he ranted about immigrants.

“Yeah but you have a job and try to integrate, they don’t” he would say.

Did I try that hard to integrate? Not really. I learned German to a functional level. I didn’t have quite the problem Ali had with the shop keeper simply because of a different problem: most wanted to try their English on me once they knew I was an Auslander. I often had complete conversations where I was speaking German to them and they were speaking English to me. Now that was funny.

But I digress...I have some very sensitive thoughts about this film since I was in Dresden, closer to what might be said is the “neo-nazi” center of Germany. If I kept my head down and didn’t speak, no one thought differently about me since I looked “like they did”. But walking into the middle of a neo-nazi rally on Feb 14th in Dresden was an eye opener to what could be happening in Germany again. Hate never left. Hate never got tamed. It’s no longer the Jews, it’s the “Muslims”, which means anyone dark-skinned.

But for the Asians, and Arabs trying to work in that area it wasn’t very easy.

And even if they try hard to integrate; even if they speak flawless German; even if they do everything they can to shed their previous culture away, they still face resistance. It’s because they look different.

Keine Ahnung.

2011-03-22T08:15:00.001-04:00

I am not too sure what to write today.

I am on my second cup of coffee...well not yet. NOW I am.

So yeah, This whole WoW-weaning* is not too bad yet. I got up and got to work on some web stuff and printed a photo for Art today. Actually, I printed 2 versions. I’ll offer him either but I want to keep one for myself. Because it was a great photo and a great print. I dunno, I just really like some of my photos from time to time.

Today is a “day off” of school. Not really. I need to shoot one or two videos still, write a paper and get info together for a presentation on Saxony, Germany. None of that will be too hard but it’s still work. But I have a day off so it should be ok, right?

Anyway...yeah, weaning myself off of WoW is not too hard, like I said but I am not sure if it’s because it’s a scheduled maintenance day or if I am really kind of tired of playing. I actually just log, fart around and log out again. I might do some PvP but that’s kind of all. I like being this way though. Having time to write more it really great - I am not writing on paper now. I am taking advantage of MacJournal, a blog/journaling software I got last year from Macheist and it’s pretty much everything I want so far. It has “private” postings and stuff I can blog about.

Which leads me to my new blog that I will be starting very soon. I registered beesandfeet.com and will be migrating all my blogger posts over there and using that as my main blog. I thought it was time to actually set up something I am going to add to regularly that isn’t just Germany-rant filled but generally rand filled, funny, and hopefully astute.

So, as soon as I can figure out this whole bluehost interface, I can start the big migration and start plowing away on content that pretty much only I will care about. But whatever. It’s my expression and my outlet so there. :P

*It’s damn amazing how much I can get done when I am not playing.

Mondays are Mondays.

2011-03-21T06:20:00.000-04:00

Monday. Start of the week and my weeks are so easy now it’s not even funny.

I have to say, here, that I had probably the best weekend I have had in a very long time. And what’s not to like about it? I went to 2 different evening events, helped a sick friend home from one of them and shot for onetothefourth.com. And also relaxed. How could that NOT be a great weekend!

Well there is more to it but I can’t - shouldn’t - really write about it. Not here anyway. Safe to say it was all good and stuff.

It’s rainy. It’s supposed to be rainy all day today. I can deal with that I guess but I dunno...I am not a fan of rain on cooler days.

We had that “supermoon” event over the weekend. I likes Adrian’s (Art’s wife) Facebook post: “Sky, with 10% more moon!” And it was kind of

Meh.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the moon and all. It was just a wee bit overstated I think. Me thinks.

I got a new web hosting all-in-one super duper deal thingy over the weekend. I am going to Art’s on Tuesday so he can teach me the SEO way of the net warrior.* Or something. I dunno. I just want it all to be easy and it’s just not. I want ONE button and ONE location for everything so that I (as well as everyone else) don’t get confused. But it’s just not that simple. And it never will be.

* it’s actually more of an excuse to drink wine.

DBD and Erotic NIghts

2011-03-20T10:21:00.001-04:00

Last night I went out.

I know, I know, I am getting some modicum of a social life. I kinda like it. I kinda really like it.

So we started out at Equal Grounds Cafe in the Southwedge area and there was a very interesting event: it was performances from different poets, writers, musicians, comedians and others with the theme “erotic nights”. Much of the subject was sex/love oriented. Some of it was really sexy and some of it was a little “too far” for what I am used to in a public setting.

But even so, it was really interesting and really great. And I noticed this one thing that kept coming up in my thought process: they were using words and expressions that I would use about someone of the opposite sex.

The. Same. Damn. Words.

So yeah it’s comforting that even “teh gayz” can love and laugh and be insecure and pine and celebrate what human sexuality is - but on a level that even a straight white dude like me can understand. I want to write a lot more about this but at the moment I can’t find the words.

So, after that, we went to the Keg, a very obtuse almost-dump a block away from where the sex poetry was to see Faith’s band, Deep Blue Dream, play.

Now wasn’t sure what to expect sound-wise or anything, really. I was just excited to see a friend’s band play that didn’t suck and wasn’t metal or something. It was fucking fantastic. The whole band was great. I really couldn’t see a weak link at all in the group. They all sang. They all played their asses off.

But what was really good, for me, was the conversation I had with Faith between sets.

In the midst of Blayke getting way-too-sick drunk and puking in the bathroom. In the midst of Blayke suddenly becoming very open about her past to Kenna and Art.

The conversation was quite revealing to be honest. She asked me about friends I came with and friends in general.

“I don’t really have many friends” she said

“Me either”

Then we went on this too-many-people-are-too-superficial-or-stupid-to-bother-with rant and it was cool that some people see things the way I do.

Some people see things exactly the way I do. And it’s reassuring, refreshing and needed.

The Memory is Probably Always Better Than it Really Was

2011-03-19T08:22:00.001-04:00

Last night, I went to see a singer/songwriter open mic at a cafe. Well, there was no open mic and there hasn’t been an open mic there in two years. So, I had a coffee and hung out there for a little while. It was nice, but I didn’t really want to be alone. So I started to go home and decided to take a different way home just for the hell of it. As I got closer to the ramp to get on the correct highway I had these memories of an ex that lived out that way. So, perhaps inspired by the music I was listening to or just basic stalker compulsion (I really don’t think I am a stalker), I decided to take a detour and see if I can retrace the route I used to go when going to pick her up.

It was muscle memory, really. I knew to turn left twice and the house was at the end of that road...but then the house wasn’t there anymore. So I sat in a lot where the house was once, and thought about this experience. This whole time (a few minutes of reliving that particular piece of my past) was an interesting experiment in what I remember and what actually IS.

And as I went back the way I came, I decided that I’d try to stop off at a rest stop, where we used to go to be alone and listen to our favorite band, just to see how it might feel to sit there. What emotions/feeling would come up?

It was closed.

Ironic. Or not so. It’s actually very fitting to the situation in which I find myself. I was gone for so long and there was so much time and so much experience between these memories that it’s probably silly to expect that things would remain as they used to be. Of course it’s silly.

But also: how I processed the way it was back at that time...was it realistic - or real? Was my filter of reality accurately giving me what was really happening?

I think not.

I am a much different person than I was. Some would say I am argumentative or judgmental. Perhaps I am. But I don’t mean it that way at all. I’m trying to find out who I am through other people. I want to make connections so that I can see who I am.

I would say that I am struggling everyday to have an accurate take on what this reality is - whatever that might mean. I struggle and try to see things as they really are and it’s hard to try to figure out everyone’s filter so I can adjust to each person in order to have some sort of meaningful relationship while trying to maintain my own identity.

And so I struggle.

I’ve probably lost a perceived friendship with this above mentioned ex because of this struggle. But conforming to what someone expects me to be is not who I really am and I cannot - will not - ever be that way again. If I lose a friend here and there, I have to really step back and think “was he/she really my friend then?”

But it goes deeper than that. Which is why I struggle.

I had a completely unfulfilled evening. But maybe that is exactly what I needed.

This Being Single Thing.

2011-03-18T08:05:00.001-04:00

Getting dumped again by Ivana really kinda sucked. I mean, TWICE?! Come on... but the bad part isn’t that I’ll never see her again - that actually might be the good part - it’s that I have to start. all. over. again.

A few years ago that might have been a great thing. Hell, it might even be now, too. It’s just the older I get, the harder it seems to be to find people I can relate to and people that are not full of fucked up issues or carrying baggage from whatever past they hobbled out of.

I tried chemistry.com for three months. It was okish and I met a nice girl who I get together with from time to time but I don’t feel any chemistry there. (false advertising chemistry.com?) I have great chats with her and she is full of life and cute and stuff but there doesn’t seem to be much else there.

100 bucks wasted on that experiment.

But then it isn’t. Because it got me thinking about what I may or may not want in a relationship (let’s not even say commitment because of the issues I have with that).

Do I want kids?

Do I want a house?

Do I want what anyone sees as a typical life?

So then I start thinking that perhaps I don’t want these things due to my issues to ever finish or commit to anything. And this seems more like an easy way out. But is it? I mean, I don’t know if I ever want kids. (Yes, Blayke, I know you said I should have one but I am still not convinced) I am fairly certain a house might not be something I really want to struggle for. I see what the housing market has done to screw so many people that I think “really? this is the ‘merican dream, huh?” and I am not sure this is what I want to waste my energy on. As for a typical life: what is that? World view, morals, and my experiences shape how I see my life and it ain’t typical. It ain’t that special either. It’s absolutely NOTHING and means exactly that.

So there.

This dovetails a bit with how I am feeling about this potential medical issue I have. Since December, I’ve recognized that my sense of smell is different. Coffee and some food and perfumes smell “off”. I’ve done what I can afford as far as trying to diagnose what it is and it’s either sinuses or a tumor. I hope it’s not a tumor.

The Power of Christ Compels Me...?

2011-03-18T07:39:00.004-04:00

I woke up his morning and I felt good.

I can't really explain why though. Perhaps it's because of the weather being as Goldilox would have said: "just right". Except the crows woke me up. Why must they be so loud?

I am thinking about this video project I am doing over the weekend. Three videos, each are one-take videos of "moving photographs". I like the idea but I am not sure of a few things.

I am not sure I am totally comfortable, yet, dealing with whatever issues I want to deal with in my art.
I am not sure I want anyone at RIT (and this almost doesn't matter because 99% of the people in crits could give two shits about anything other than wanting crit to be done so they can go be miserable or whatever).
Because of my issue with not completing things/commitment, I am afraid of getting feedback. (thanks, childhood)

But here goes one idea: ever since I was 14 or 15, when I saw the Exorcist for the first time, I have been terrified of this one scene - so much so that when I see this scene I have trouble sleeping for a day or two still. It's not anything that happens to the girl. It's the dream sequence.

More specifically, it's the quick appearance of a demon face in the sequence of the dream.

Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koXMhFXSF9A

In case youtube ever takes it down, it's not that scary really. It's the build up of the whole priest-losing-his-faith story with the apparent possession of Reagan and for whatever reason, be it the editing or the eire music, it totally unnerves me.

But the worst part of it is the demon-like face in it:

Now, I know what it is. It's a make up test of what they wanted Reagan's character to look like when possessed. They just decided to put it into the dream to scare me. And it's probably that they flash it for a 1/2 second so you see it, but don't really see it and try to process what it is and therefore "see" it for much longer than you really wanted to. Or, at least that is what happens to me.

See, as part of my proactive view of the world, I want to confront that which I fear. So I bought the DVD and watch it from time to time. Yeah, if I think about it too much I might lose sleep for a night or two but whatever. I am not going to let it control me anymore.

Silly, right? Bueller?

I think this might have deeper significance. And I want to write about it sometime soon. And don't get me started with bees. That is my biggest fear and I am not sure I will ever overcome that one. Bees. And feet.

Reborn

2011-03-17T19:51:00.002-04:00

No, not in the religious sense. I just want to bring this blog back into working order and write more often than once in 6 months.

Because lately I have come to realize that I really, really need it.

In the last few weeks, I have had more of a social life than in the last 2 years. And it's all my fault that I haven't tried to connect with too many people here.

I had my reasons...as shitty as they were. So I am throwing them away and trying to actually do stuff and get my life back to where it was when I was happier with myself and who I was.

I sat and watched someone create art yesterday. For some reason I was entranced. It was fucking amazing! So see someone cut up a piece of paper into sections and then in some magical way attack that paper and eventually become something pretty damn cool.

And it got me thinking about who I am and how I express myself. (hint: I haven't in a couple years)

So, I am going to start writing just to write. I am going to start writing music again just to write music. And, I am going to start taking photos again just to take photos.

I'll wean myself off of my WoW addiction. And I'll start trying to connect again.

That is all.

I Met Someone

2010-10-19T07:27:00.003-04:00

I got a call on Friday from a woman named Eve. And she needed a portrait for a book.

"Cool!", I thought as it was a chance for me to make some money (and as a student, money is very, very important).

So I packed up my lights, stands and umbrellas and headed to her house. What I found when I got there was not at all what I was expecting.

Eve was a tremendously friendly and funny woman who invited me into her life and showed me her house and some different locations we could shoot in and it all was great but I couldn't help but notice the obvious: she is a cancer survivor.

Now, she told me on the phone that the book was about cancer but I didn't know that she herself was a multiple cancer survivor.

"Yes", she said as she laughed and joked with me about this and that. I was blown away. I was blown away by this woman who was on a break between chemo treatments was not feeling sorry for herself or hiding away somewhere. She was writing a book, following action plans, getting on with her life.

This is a woman who already had a life full of horse competitions and traveling.

She wasn't going to let cancer get her down. She didn't say this to me. She didn't have to - it was obvious in how she carried herself.

I admire her. I admired her after being around her for 10 minutes. This was a woman who has met death and refuses to be shaken by it. As I took her portrait, she slowly started to really enjoy it. And I enjoyed it more, too. There is a certain look in her eye that I tried to capture. A certain courageous, dignified look. I think one photo got it. She actually liked the same photo.

The portrait isn't that amazing really. It's lit well and composed well but that isn't what this was about for me. Not at the end of this meeting. It was about trying to show her courage. I can only hope that I did her justice.

So, Eve, I know you thanked me for coming and taking your portrait, but I would like to thank you, too: thank you for letting me take your photo and meeting a remarkable person!

Let The Culling Begin!

2010-09-07T08:10:00.000-04:00

I have taken a lot of photos over the last year or so.

Way too many.

So, I am going to use this time I have in the mornings to actually rate and sort and *gasp* delete the ones that are crap.

What to do....

2010-05-25T08:59:00.001-04:00

Yup, school is over for the summer and that is a wonderful thing.

But now? What the hell do I do?

I am going to try to concentrate on my health a bit more. Exercising everyday, etc.

But that leaves big - BIG - chunks of time left over. And yeah, I can fill the time but I am simply not used to the down time now. What, after a year of constantly running my ass off for professors I now have 2+months free??

So cool.

I’l try to do a photo a day too. Mind you, maybe not a “good” photo a day.

That’s all for now. Gotta go clean my car and stuff.

I Got a Point and Shoot Today

2010-04-05T20:23:00.000-04:00

I have taken an evolutionary step backward. At the suggestion of a professor (and truthfully, I was thinking it anyway), I got a Canon point and shoot camera.

I thought long ago that there was a “pre-DSLR” and a DSLR period in my photography.

I was wrong.

The point and shoot cameras have their place for sure. Take, street photography, for example. You see a moment and want to capture it and raise the huge body and lens you have, drawing attention to yourself and making whomever you want to shoot aware and they alter their gesture.

Not good.

So, a point and shoot is sneaky.

And THAT can be a useful thing.

So, can it take better quality photos?

No.

Can it help me take better photographs by diminishing the self-conscienceness factor on both sides?

Hell yeah.

Texas, what is wrong with you?

2010-03-16T13:25:00.000-04:00

I’m not sure how to begin this.

Maybe it should start out about how I love what this country stands for.

For now.

Maybe not for much longer.

If you don’t know: the Texas State Board of Education is about to remove Thomas Jefferson from the history books in the area of “revolutionary writers”.

The author of Declaration of Independence.

A former President.

I can only speculate as to why. It seems that Jefferson also supported the separation of church and state. Something the Texas SBOE is trying to eliminate.

So slowly remove Jefferson and insert other revolutionary writers such as....Thomas Aquinas and John Calvin?

Hmmmmm.

This stinks with bias. And it’s anti-American.

And the problem I have with it other than that? It’s not due for revision for 10 years.

And that is how I say “nothing good ever comes from Texas”.

So fuck you McElroy, you idiot dentist influencing how children learn.

And fuck you Texas.

LOLcat and a New Engrish

2010-03-08T13:44:00.003-05:00

I am stupefied.

I have played WoW for almost 2 years now and have seen this language typed over and over and over.

I thought people, like I, were typing in a hurry and misspelling words.

Turns out, they were probably NOT misspelling words.

And I, in my anal retentiveness, am.

Ladies and gentlemen: for those who don’t already know about this, I present...

Lolcat English! The intertube English!

http://speaklolspeak.com/page/LOLspeak+101

If you don’t want to go to that page, here is a sample of the language:

You start with an idea like:“That’s a really cute cat. And look, he has a bow on his head!”

and turn it into this:

“OMG wau!! Dat beesings a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz!! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!? OMG I tewtul wuntz to grabz dat kiti and fuzziez himz awl ovar … him sooooooo mooshy an fullz ov win!! Don werry lil kiti, I no eetz u! I luvz kitiz! I can has bunchiz ov dem! Mah kitiz luvz bowwagez too! YETH!! GIMME!! Kthxbai!”

If you want to see how to do this, you need to go to the link.

2010-03-05T10:40:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have been gone way too long.

But I am back.

And hopefully with something interesting to say.

The world has changed a slight bit since I last blogged seriously:

I am an uncle.

So, what does an uncle-type person do?

Well, nothing really at the moment except take lots of photos.

And here is one:

Now mind you, I didn’t take the photo. My dad did. I thrust the camera into his hands and he. with all the confidence of a normal picture-taker held up the camera and looked for the LCD display to compose the shot.

After giggling to myself I showed him that he needed to look through the viewfinder.

Alas, here is one of the “good ones”.

More to come later

iPad...awesome!

2010-02-02T09:55:00.001-05:00

taken from http://techland.com/2010/01/28/19-rejected-names-for-the-apple-ipad/

19 rejected names for the iPad:

iPod OB

The Starbucks Attention-Getter

iTouch Maximum

iMac Minimum

Apple Newton v2.0

iPlacemat

The Procrastinatrix

Whammo Novelty Throwing Square

Zune Blaster 3000

Matthew McConaughey's Virtual Bongos

Crotch TV

One More Thing For Your Kids To Endlessly Bug You About Then Break

$800 Coke Mirror

iTheKindleCanSuckItBitch

The Netbook of Sauron

Space Screen of the Future Future FUTURE!!!

iFeminine Napkin

Finally, Another Dealie To Play Solitaire On!

Steve Jobs' Lapsturbator

What I really want right now.

2009-10-17T06:17:00.001-04:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Testing this From My Iphone

2009-10-11T21:26:00.001-04:00

Wow. If this works, I could be unstoppable.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Proof...

2009-10-10T09:41:00.003-04:00

...that the militant, control freak-for-no-reason minister at the last wedding I shot with El was a Nazi:

Why Has it Been so Long??

2009-10-10T09:10:00.006-04:00

I can't really say why. Perhaps it's the quarter system at RIT that has me running like crazy and when I get home at night all I want to do it veg out.

But, for better or worse, here is another post.

There is so much I could write about because there is so much going on at the moment: Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, his health care bill is having issues with being passed, school is kicking my ass and I am going to visit Ivana in December for xmas.

Oh, there is more, but that is enough.

I guess I could start with Ivana's visit to the USA. It was a long day...a very long day. I decided to drive to NYC to pick her up from JFK because she said that it would be "a good chance to see the landscape after I land". (I'll never drive to NYC and back in one day again.) (come to think of it, I will never drive to NYC again.)

I warned her that when she landed, she'd only be half way to home time-wise.

Well, I don't think she really understood.

I don't think Europeans understand the size of our country. It's much bigger than they really think.

She knows now.

But all in all, it was a great trip. We went to Pittsburgh to visit my friend Yona, then to Lancaster to taunt the Amish, then to Washington DC to visit my friend Nick.

Jake and I at the "Exorcist Steps"

I have to say that after not seeing her for about 4 months and then practically living with her, we really got along well, it was nice. No territorial arguments, no real spats to speak of.

What did she really like? Frappucino and cheesecake.

This Makes Me Sick

2009-09-14T19:44:00.000-04:00

The Aftermath

2009-09-14T10:30:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am alive.

I survived 10 weeks of "transfer student hell" only to go on a 4 week road trip with the girlfriend.

Pictures will come.

Stories will come.

But not today.

Life is Funny Sometimes

2009-08-18T17:53:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, when you have a photo project, you walk through a city and find something funny:

This is Exactly What is Wrong With My Country

2009-06-22T09:16:00.001-04:00

http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/meat/pork/spam/00/rec0004.html

"Call me Bill."

2009-06-08T18:10:00.003-04:00

That was the first thing the head of the photo department said when we sat and talked oh so long ago. I liked it. Coming from Germany where everything was "Herr so-and-so" or "Frau what's-her-name", I liked the informality.

I loved it, actually.

And this informality trickles down into the whole department.

I call my professor Angela. (that is her name after all)

But...informality has its drawbacks too.

It seems most of the time that my prof has no idea what she is doing and kinda fakes her way through the day.

Case and point: we spent 45 minutes today watching her set up her laptop to show us a slide show. Right after telling me that in certain situations during a wedding shoot, you need to improvise and be flexible.

Poetic justice anyone??

And how do I know she is faking her way through the day?

Because I did it too. I spent many 'o days not planning what to teach and walking into a room of strangers and churning out a lesson...not really giving a clear enough answer but giving one good enough for the moment.

But her answers are not good enough for the moment even.

I can't say that I am learning nothing. I can't even say that I am not being challenged. But it's not enough at the moment. I am bombarded with book work when I want to get into studios and outside to shoot.

But to be optimistic I have only 2 weeks left with her.

1st day...

2009-06-02T06:36:00.004-04:00

Well, it's done.

That first day, get-it-out-of-the-way crap is done and now I can focus on photography.

Hopefully.

The class is small - only 10 - and that is good for time with the professor. Bad for comparing work against your peers.

I have some reservations about showing my work. What if I'm not good enough??

Everyone there has had some different background...and that will be good for sharing the knowledge.

So...400 bucks lighter (books, supplies, etc) going in to day 2, and I am looking forward to it.

No better reason...

2009-05-17T08:49:00.003-04:00

...to start bloging again than the experience of having a new monitor to go with my laptop.

Oh, and a keyboard as well as I have to use my laptop in the closed clamshell mode.

22 inches of beauty staring at me and my goodness how much bigger everything is!

I have 2 weeks til my start of school and so much (and so little) has happened to me in the last 6 weeks being home.

I had to file back taxes for the last 6 years. Yes, I am one of those clueless idiots who thought the IRS would never think to find me. They didn't find me but for financial aid I had to go to them as show them my income. Should be ok, I didn't make so much, but the whole experience was stressful trying to talk the accountant through the german documents.

I have taken some photos - not as many as I would have liked - but I haven't gotten around to doing much with them.

I will soon though.

2 Weeks Back

2009-04-15T07:40:00.003-04:00

I'd like to say that I have gone head first into my new life.

I haven't.

Thank you, jet lag.

But, things are slowly getting to be "normal" for me.

If by normal I mean this new life I have for myself.

Thanks to my brother and my father, I got home the same day as I arrived (longest day ever). I am quite sure my dad will never go to the JFK airport (read: New York City) again.

I've had a few funny run-ins with the revers culture shock that I want to share. Some very pleasant, some not so funny. But that will come over time. I'll start writing about them soon.

But before that we have a new member of the family:

Caleb (or Kaleb, I have no idea):

On The Way

2009-04-01T07:32:00.000-04:00

Day 1 of my new life.

I am sitting in the airport and have 90 minutes til boarding. Thanks to Carsten, I had a stress-free trip to the airport.

I simply can’t wait to get home. To Rochester. To the next stage of my life.

I’m scared and sad, excited and exhausted. overwhelmed and overspent, free and fettered. I left my apartment I have grown to love and hate for the last time. I stood admiring the view on the balcony listening to the choir of birds and realized that I won’t have that moment ever again. I hate that the blackbirds woke me up at 4AM but perhaps I’ll miss it. Perhaps I’ll miss the water heater in my bathroom kicking on and waking me up. Perhaps I’ll miss the creaky floor and the way-too-small kitchen.

I left wanting more but not needing any more. I’ll stay in touch with those I consider good friends and the rest I’ll chalk up as experience. There was always something I could have done to enhance my experience but I did what I could - what I wanted to really do.

Dresden has given me mostly ups, but the downs were really down. I will miss life here. But I won’t miss the inflexibility of the typical German. But I also know that it’s just a stereotype and these kinds of people are everywhere.

I’ll miss my own space. Really my own space. So far away from my family and it had to me my own or I would have failed. I’ll miss the parties. European parties are simply better. I’ll miss the good connections I mad with some people. I’ll miss Ivana. I hope to see her in August. Seeing her pull away on the tram is the last thing I’ll remember about her. How sad!

Starting over again is also liberating in a way. I have the chance to really learn from the mistakes I’ve made and do something about them. Will I? I have no idea. I get lazy. I get dumb. We’ll see i guess.

I bought a new watch using a gift card my boss gave me. It will remind me of my time here. I need a nice ending memory to counter the drama with my internet company (fuck telecom companies!) and my hen-pecking landlord. I didn’t want to leave him with a heap of garbage and an unpainted apartment but I suppose I am indirectly teaching him a lesson: don’t wait 3 years to bill me for my energy and then say my security deposit will cover the last 3 years of energy...why would I then paint and clean, etc? I did manage, with Ivana’s help, to clean the place.

So I sit all day. I sit and wait for the next step and the next and the next. One step away from the unfriendly service people who gave me coffee today. On step away from probably never hearing German again. One step away from setting foot in my home country and resting from the last 3 months of stress and planning and arranging and organizing.

I am quite sure my life won’t be that much better. But I’ll be able to start a band, speak my own language at an adult’s level, express what I really want to in words that most (hopefully) will understand and focus my energy on what I really want to do instead of doing the only thing I am allowed to do.

And that is how I feel as I have one hour til boarding my flight to Frankfurt.

What To Do....

2009-03-31T01:29:00.003-04:00

What does one do their last day in a country?

Photos? A quick walk around to take in the atmosphere?

No. Cleaning. Packing. Garbage. Stress.

I am pretty sure that anyone from a different country living in the USA has the same issues trying to "de-register" and get all your paperwork ducks in a row, but I hate it.

Let's eliminate paperwork and bureaucracy. Seriously.

Anyway, it's a nice morning here and I do want to get out and take some last photos here but am not so sure because I have to throw away all the crap I can't take with me. (= not easy in the German system)

I have to make small "stealth" runs when throwing away my stuff. Here, they have containers for each building and you have to separate the garbage into 3 main categories: paper, plastic and "other". I have grown to really - REALLY - love the "other" because that is where you can technically throw anything. The problem is I can fill the thing on my own and that leaves very angry neighbors (who go through my garbage and sort what I didn't do good enough).

So what is the solution?? Street garbage cans!

That's right! I take an innocent-looking shopping bag (not see through because that would give away the plan) and walk up a block or so and dump whatever I want into those small havens for my unwanted things.

No guilt. No dirty looks from the neighbors. Just simple elimination bliss.

Yes, I should be out taking photos.

But I have to plan my garbage exodus.

Not Welcome

2009-03-27T01:44:00.001-04:00

I got a visit yesterday from an old friend:

Panic Attack

This time it was a full-blown-in-public-can't-catch-my-breath attack.

I'd never had one like that before.

Stress??!!

3 weeks, 3 days and 3 hours.

2009-03-08T17:45:00.000-04:00

3 weeks, 3 days and 3 hours.

I am now finalizing all my things here in Germany to move back to the USA.

Such a bittersweet time for me, I have to admit. I will miss many things here that I have grown to be used to, and at the same time looking forward to the things that I miss, and the things I will be doing in the next 2 years.

My life has been good here. I have learned the beauty of a simpler life and how to be less "consumerist" towards the normal things in life. I still want things, mind you, but not as often nor as many.

I was able to live in a beautiful city in a beautiful country. I was able to travel and see many places in Europe. Some I fell in love with, some I will never return to.

I was able to reflect on my life - more specifically my personality - and realize that I am strong enough, decisive enough, and able enough to do the things I dream about.

I have come to certain conclusions about who I am and what makes me who I am and while that will undoubtedly change over time as it always does, it gives me a good springboard for the next chapter in my life.

I am mostly happy with the thought of coming home. I hope that I am able to share the experiences I have had here. I only hope that those around me are interested - really interested and not "American interested" - in what I have to say.

I have met some really great people here, and have learned many lessons about the nature of people and have lost some supposed friends. I have realized that relationships end sometimes and while I think I have coped well, I can always do better.

I have learned about the German culture. I have learned how to navigate the personal arena; what makes a friend in the eyes of a German, what things they take personally and that once you are a friend, you are pretty much a friend for life with no conditions. My good friend Carsten, for example, when I asked for help moving he said yes with no thought, no checking his schedule, no hmming and hawing, just "YES" and I will miss that.

I am going to miss the international flair of my workplace. It was fun to share the differences in cultures and to make fun of the little differences in language between the US, UK, Australia and other places. These are things that I won't really be able to share with those at home because....just because.

I am coming home a richer person in experience. I hope that I can remember everything that I have learned here. I never want to forget my time in Dresden. And I hope that I can use my experiences to aid my future success.

And I am scared. Moving home in the "worst financial crisis ever", and trying to study will pose challenges that I hope I can overcome. I am scared that won't be good enough to achieve the success I desire. Not a selfish success, but success enough to provide for myself.

I have loved and lost, loved and lost and loved again. Prague will always have the most special place in my heart for many reasons. Paris a close second, and Italy will be my favorite country for a long, long time.

I will always appreciate that I have made friends with people who were former "enemies" of our political system...sitting in an East German's yard having a bbq and enjoying wine. Speaking to these people about the differences and similarities we share, mostly similarities, is priceless.

I am anticipating "reverse culture shock" when I come home. I will get cranky and impatient with the way things work in the US. I am sure I will have more than my share of comments or derisive chuckles but I am nevertheless looking forward to reconnecting with my culture and friends. I am going to donate blood because I want to do good even in a small way. I want to learn more about the city I was born in. I am quite ashamed that I know more about my "host city" than I do about my home city.

I am sure that I will have so much more to write about this time in my life. I have been obsessed with gaming which has somehow been my coping mechanism but I have to now pull myself back to reality - even just a little bit - to express these feelings and start the next chapter in my life.

I am looking forward but won't be able to stop looking behind for quite a while.

Even As a Teacher, I Still Can Learn

2009-02-08T09:12:00.000-05:00

The student probably never suspected it.

But I thought it. From the very first time I had him.

There was a student in a group and he was a bit "special". There is usually one in every group; one who just can't keep up or seems to refuse to try in a group.

Well, it was no exception with this group—a group of unemployed older people paid to come to our school to learn English.

Some are motivated because it will help them develop skills, others come simply to get money from the government.

He barely seemed to try, he never spoke correctly, and he was difficult to teach.

Only today, at the end, did he say something about why he was this way.

He had a head injury and it caused him to be a slow learner. It made him socially obtuse in almost every way, to be honest.

So, I misjudged him.

And it showed me that I shouldn't do that. How do I know what kind of past a person has had?

I had Visitors...

2009-01-28T02:55:00.003-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I had some visitors.

Ria, a former co-worker, and her friend Sean.

It's nice to have people here because I get a chance to see the cities vicariously and it's nice to experience that from time to time. Living here for so long, I get jaded and cranky but so see the city with fresh eyes makes me realize how nice Dresden can be.

We did Dresden, Prague and Berlin. They then went off to Munich.

We ended their visit here with an Oasis concert. I actually thought they played well, but I don't like the singer...he doesn't really have a range at all.

Here are some photos!

Another Slacking Blogger

2009-01-20T23:59:00.002-05:00

I have no good excuse.

Really.

None.

I can blame it on many things but I am just lazy.

And I want to try to change it.

But at the moment, I have to try to organize my ideas to share and I don't know where to begin.

I haven't had a chance yet to give my notice at work and I am not doubting my decision. My plans are built upon so much that could not happen and I don't want to make the wrong decision. I don't want to fail.

But the other side is that I can't stay here doing what I am doing now.

*sigh*

Cat is Out of the Bag

2008-12-17T01:35:00.003-05:00

For the 1 follower of my blog and the few that stop by to read it, I have to apologize for the infrequent posting. I will try to write more but won't promise.

This post is going to be personal and I ask for those friends of mine who read it to offer what advice you can.

Things here in Germany are good. I have a job, a (small) nice apartment, a girlfriend and have settled into a very comfortable life where I can work 6 hours a day and live. I'll never be rich, but I can live here.

About 4 months ago, the girlfriend and I had a fight. In this fight, she triggered a reaction in me that made me look into coming back home and to study photography - something that I have always wanted to do. When I was home, I applied at RIT for the visual media program "just to see".

I was accepted.

So now I am standing at a crossroads. I have told the girlfriend about what I intend to do. The reasons I gave were mainly my family, but also my culture, friends, language as well as more opportunity.

She argued that I could be a photographer anywhere and that I was just running away.

Perhaps she is true but I can explain.

She and her mom bought a villa in her home city. It's a "fixer upper" and they have been working on it for almost 3 years. The thing that kinda irks me is that remaining in this situation would have me ending up living with the mother-in-law. Never any privacy, never really feeling like it was "my castle". (bear in mind that they have their own floors, separate but never alone)

Well, the house is almost finished. Anytime I go visit her, it's not so much that we see each other but more she puts me to work - or wants to. I resist sometimes.

What I see for the next 10 years or so there is gardening (hate it!), housework like stripping paint or shoveling coal and never ever feeling that I have my own comfortable place. She has tried to include me in the decision making processes but all in all I cannot change the living situation.

So, if I stayed with her, I'd have to move to another country (again), learn another language (again), not be understood or not understand anything for 4 months (again) and I am tired of it.

I am tired of fighting simply to do daily things that are normal to everyone else on their culture.

I care about the girlfriend but I am looking at the rest of my life...am I wrong for being a little selfish? Maybe even a lot selfish?

She told me that she'd live in the US with me for a couple years while I study but then intends to move back to her city. Reasons?? Family, opportunity, friends.

Right: she won't do what she expects me to do.

So I am bordering depression mulling this whole thing over.

Aside from that, I hate my job. HATE. Over the last 3 months, I have learned that my company does not care about the actual quality of the work but only that the paperwork is filled out correctly.

And I don't want to do what I am doing forever.

So, I feel that I am languishing in my situation. I feel that I can have a more fulfilling life if I move back home.

I am choosing between relative comfort here, to being closer to my family and having more opportunity.

And that is probably why I am hiding in my stupid game so much.

GZ and DPS

2008-11-26T02:36:00.002-05:00

Hello all.

It's been a while. And do you know why? If you couldn't tell from the last few posts, I'll tell ya:

World of Warcraft.

Yep. I am officially an addict. It's not uncommon in my life though. I lost a whole summer to Starcraft 10 years ago.

Now, I have no excuse for staying in and only playing this game except it's so much fun!

But, as with many new things, I need to get used to the lingo. Maybe some of this is normal for some of you, but for me I had to ask silly questions to which a reply would be "die noob!"

Noob (or nub) = noobie = a new person

TY = simple: thank you. (used when you help another player slay a beast or if you give them healing or water)

NP = the reply to TY and it is "no problem"

LFG = looking for group

Tank = a type of player who "tanks" his way into a group of enemies"

Healer = a player who heals said tanks

DPS = "damage per second". That is my character's strength. I stand back and blast them with ice :-)

CC = crowd control (I can turn one enemy into a sheep, reducing the menace a bit.

I am getting the hang of all the lingo but it's not easy.

And why am I blogging and not playing??

Weekly maintenance every Wednesday til 12.

*sigh*

World of Warcraft vs. My Girlfriend

2008-11-19T06:56:00.004-05:00

Taken from here. By Tyler Curry.

I've had a lot of time to think about our last conversation, particularly since you ended it by ramming a keyboard through my monitor. I understand that we were both upset at the time and perhaps we said some things we didn't mean. Well, maybe you more than me, considering I mostly just listened to you shriek and cowered in the corner.

I do not think I am, as you so eloquently screamed, "addicted to World of Warcraft." I have, however, made a number of unfortunate mistakes, for which I would like to apologize.

I'm sorry I was so late picking you up from the library. I didn't know they locked the doors at 8, and I'm sorry you had to stand outside alone for two hours. If it makes you feel better, despite its reputation to the contrary, that portion of the city does not have a violent-crime rate significantly above the national average.

You have to consider the position I was in. I was healing for a party with five players in it, all of whom were counting on me to help them defeat Mekgineer Thermaplugg and liberate the Gnomish city of Gnomeregan. Those are the needs of five people, in contrast to just yours, alone. (Note that I'm not even counting the needs of the Gnomish people here, Ashley.) As Spock once famously said, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one." You were that one.

Had I looked outside and noticed the freezing rain, I may have made a different decision. Probably not, though.

I'm also sorry I posted those pictures of you on my guild forums, the ones I took when you were passed out. I had no idea they could Photoshop your bra off. That was poor judgment on my part, and I freely admit it. I also should have told you before the chain letter went out. On the bright side, you hated working there anyway.

I also have some things to say that I think you should hear, and, since you forgot to pause long enough for me to speak before your charming little bout of property damage and subsequent stormy departure, I would like to say them now.

Ashley, you have never been willing to accommodate my World of Warcraft needs, or even to compromise the slightest bit.

Last month, when your mother was in a car accident, you called and not only demanded I drive you to the hospital but insisted I stay there to provide "emotional support"—despite knowing full well that I had booked that evening off to fight forest trolls in Zul'Aman. When I suggested you take a cab and that I join you in three to four hours, you unleashed a string of expletives that even my therapist found disturbing. You also refused to wait until we finished off the eagle boss, the one who drops the helm piece I have been trying to get for months.

For the record, she turned out fine anyway. Many paraplegics lead rich and rewarding lives.

Also, what you stumbled upon me doing with that Level 64 blood elf in the back room of the Silvermoon City Inn was neither "sick and perverted" nor "cheating on you." We were role-playing. That I called you by her character's name later that evening was just a weird coincidence. I do not wish your body looked like that. You and I both know that it's physically impossible for humans to have those proportions, at least while retaining all of their internal organs.

However, in the midst of your raging diatribe, sandwiched between the curses and the flailing limbs, you made some very good points. In fact, the words you spoke about commitment, loyalty, and "being there when someone needs you" have sort of inspired me.

Ashley, when I gave you that ring and pledged to spend my life with you, what I didn't mention was that, eight months prior, in the Level 10 quest "For the Horde," I had already pledged eternal fealty and service to Warchief Thrall.

Now, with the gates of Ahn'Qiraj opening and the threat of the Silithid invasion looming over Azeroth, the call has gone out for all able-bodied members of the horde to band together in the great war effort. An event like this only happens once in a server's life, and I cannot honorably abandon my online brethren in this hour of need. I understand that you need me to be there for you, but, Ashley, the truth is, right now, the horde just needs me more.

WoW 2

2008-11-19T05:48:00.003-05:00

Spending a week with laryngitis and hacking up phlegm left me little choice as to what to do with my week of paid sick time.

I spent almost all of it playing World of Warcraft.

It's sick, I know. But it's fun! It must be if 11 million people subscribe to the game.

I am now hooked.

Hence, the sparse posting.

Back to playing.

I am Celm...

2008-11-13T03:48:00.002-05:00

For quite a long time I was averse to World of Warcraft.

I had a problem with a subscription service game—having to pay 14 euros a month to play a game.

Well...I now know that WoW is the crack cocaine of games.

I downloaded the 10-day trial and decided to give it a go.

I'm hooked.

So...I'd like to introduce you to my virtual personality.

I am Celm. Mage. Healer. Herbalist.

LOL. I'm such a loser.

Happy!

2008-11-05T00:17:00.003-05:00

I know that it's not gonna change over night.

I know that there is a lot of work ahead.

But: I am SO happy that Obama won.

Reganomics? Gone. A retard as president? Gone. A crooked administration? Gone.

Hopefully we can dig ourselves out of 8+ years of shit that Bush has thrown on this country.

Happy!

Eh....

2008-10-29T02:45:00.002-04:00

Life this past week has been mediocre. It's been rainy, and fall is finally here. A couple points of interest from my side:

I got to see the German Chancellor land at the airport
I met the mayor of Dresden

That's really it. Hopefully I'll write more soon...when I have something to say.

This Rocks!

2008-10-21T14:48:00.000-04:00

More Tits!

2008-10-19T04:59:00.003-04:00

More photos of tits: a very cute, and extremely shy bird.

My First Night Time HDR PHoto!

2008-10-19T04:56:00.000-04:00

Quoting Christopher Hitchens

2008-10-14T01:56:00.003-04:00

I think Christopher Hitchens is a brilliant man. Yes, he has flaws, but he is brilliant.

He recently wrote an article on slate.com.

He wrote about McCain:

The most insulting thing that a politician can do is to compel you to ask yourself: "What does he take me for?" Precisely this question is provoked by the selection of Gov. Sarah Palin. I wrote not long ago that it was not right to condescend to her just because of her provincial roots or her piety, let alone her slight flirtatiousness, but really her conduct since then has been a national disgrace. It turns out that none of her early claims to political courage was founded in fact, and it further turns out that some of the untested rumors about her—her vindictiveness in local quarrels, her bizarre religious and political affiliations—were very well-founded, indeed. Moreover, given the nasty and lowly task of stirring up the whack-job fringe of the party's right wing and of recycling patent falsehoods about Obama's position on Afghanistan, she has drawn upon the only talent that she apparently possesses.

I know that no human, let alone politician, is perfect. But I have to agree with most of what he wrote in his article.

Here is the whole article.

Idiots

2008-10-14T01:53:00.004-04:00

I am proud that my country has the right to free speech.

But this is sad. It's false. Not that politicians don't lie, but that this sign somehow ties Obama in with terrorists. Huh?

And it's a smear.

Stupid should indeed be painful.

Michael Palin For President!

2008-10-12T05:13:00.000-04:00

I See the Light!

2008-10-08T10:28:00.006-04:00

I have to admit that I know nothing about lighting.

Ok...maybe a little but not nearly enough to say I am confident.

So, I am going to spend the next couple hours doing experiments with my 2 speedlites. I have really nice ones, I may as well use them...right?

Starting off:

4:29: going to try to do some "low key" photography. I bought a 1 euro spatula to see if I can do it.

Off I go!

Result:

Not quite what I wanted but not a terrible start.

Better...

More to come.

VP Debate

2008-10-05T15:17:00.002-04:00

I am in the middle of watching the VP debate. (I know, a bit late, but I have to see Biden tear apart Palin)

Can someone please tell me why Palin is saying that Iraq=success?

Huh??!!!

Sorry, I am trying to be fair, but this chick is bat shit crazy. Her eyes just glaze over during any answer she gives...just like a typical fundie.

Man she is crazy. And Biden keeps stuttering.

In any case, anytime Palin speaks I just can't stop thinking about Fargo.

Oh, you betcha, ya!

The Stupid, it Burns...

2008-10-03T08:05:00.001-04:00

I got this from another site I contribute to and thought it sums up what I feel when I listen to Sarah Palin speak.

Who Wants To Be a Millionare??

2008-10-02T11:38:00.003-04:00

"there is nothing like getting a million dollars and then being told I am a lying, thieving adulterating, blasphemous sinner"

I was sitting at dinner in a nice Thai restaurant when it happened.

My friend pulled out a million dollar bill and put it on the table.

I'd heard about these things from other websites and podcasts I listen to but this was the first one I've ever seen.

No...it's not real money. It's a jesus-freak-turn-or-burn tract.

This one is done by the newest boob of the fundies, Ray Comfort. Ray is a little, seemingly friendly man from New Zealand and he is, as far as I can see, Fundamentalist Christianity's shining knight. He's partnered up with the most saccharin of actors, Kirk Cameron, to try to convince other fundies to do what they do.

He's also an antagonistic blow hard who thinks he can prove the existence of god without using the bible (he can't, either way) and thinks that demeaning people will make them want to love god.

When I blurted out at dinner "oh this is one of those Ray Comfort things", I got a delighted response "Oh, you know who he is!".

Yep.

Do I like the fact that I know who he is?

Not really.

But aside from all that, this million dollar tract really gets on my nerves and I don't quite know why. Maybe it's because back in my fundie days, people were using something similar to tip waitresses (substituting the actual tip) and really pissing off the hard working wait staff. Or maybe it's because it looks too much like actual currency. Or maybe it's a really weird way to try to convert people.

I could go on and on about how much of a boob I think he is, and maybe I will someday, but right now I want to go eat dinner.

Someone in My Life is a Dweeb

2008-09-29T10:50:00.002-04:00

For you, the public, as my jury:

When I was back home there is a certain person in my life (who I will keep nameless) that stopped talking to me for some reason.

I say some reason because while this person has told other people why they(the indirect pronoun) stopped talking to me, I still have not been told directly.

I can speculate however.

And here is my side:

After deciding not to call this person anymore after being hung up on when I tried to call my first day home (one hour before they normally wake up) the only time I ever got a request to hang out was when I could do something for this person. (Fixing computer, etc)

Now, I have no problem with this at all. I am simply saying that to hang out "just to hang out" was never implied.

Now let me digress just for a moment. I am a morning person. And with jet lag, I was REALLY a morning person. I was up at 5 or 5:30 and by the time 8 rolled around, I was totally stir crazy.

I met my friend Lou for coffee some of the days because his hectic lifestyle has him up and going to work at 7:30.

Perfect for me.

But when 9:00 came, I was on the other side of the city, often running errands, and for me to "just" come over (the computer thing) wasn't really possible.

Now, this person could have gotten up an hour early once or twice in my 10 days in the U.S.. If I am expected to just drop what I am doing when they want me to, they'd better be at least willing to do the same.

So the last day we spoke I was already on my way out to run some errands and I got a call from them. They asked me if I could "come over to fix the xyz computer problem". I said I was already out on the other side of the city but would call when I was done and could then meet up. Well, the errand took way longer than thought and I missed the chance to meet up with them. So, I went to a wonderful beer store and spent 10 dollars on imported german beer and left a message that we could meet up when they finished work for a beer or two.

No call.

I tried the next day. No answer.

The next day, no answer.

Now...passive aggression is not the answer to anything. How am I supposed to know what I did if I am not told??!!

Plus, this person is over 30, so I can't understand that either. Grow up...hello??!!!

Now, I know I am not perfect. Far from it, actually. But how anyone can tolerate this behavior is amazing.

I was informed that they thought my friends ran my schedule (hello???...when did you ever plan anything with me?) and to a point that may be true. Once I was stir crazy, if I had other people to meet, and I was already out, I did it. Shit, I was hung up on once and their "normal waking time" maybe isn't from time to time. Am I supposed to wait around for a call that may not come? Is that fair?

I feel emotionally manipulated...or at least that I should feel guilty for something that I really feel isn't my fault.

I know that there are 3 sides to every story, I tried to be fair and balanced with my story.

What do you all think?

In any case, how they are acting is really dweeby.

R.I.P. Starbucks Greece

2008-09-21T04:15:00.003-04:00

I remember about 10 years ago when it was first opened.

Hell, I'd even worked there a couple times to help out.

It's a shock that "the Borg" has decided to close one of its stores and it happens to be the closest one to my house. I could walk there in 20 minutes or so.

The Starbucks in Greece has closed. I had to go there on their last day to get one last coffee there. I met my friend Lou there as well. He felt just as obligated to snag one last latte.

It's sad, really, when a neighborhood institution like a café (any café, not just a huge corporation) closes down due to the fucking paralyzing construction on the busiest road in the world.

Other companies have moved or closed down as well.

I'll miss the familiar neighborhood café, but gladly, there are 2 more in the area. Sadly, however, I'd need a car to get to them.

*sigh*

Back Home Safe and Sound

2008-09-21T04:09:00.002-04:00

I'm home now.

It's quite amazing how much of "the German" you can tune out when you have an iPod on. I didn't have to worry about anyone talking to me. It's ok, the Germans are usually pretty "hands off" anyway.

I tried to stay awake til my normal bedtime but couldn't. I went to bed at 8 and woke up at 9AM.

That's 13 hours. And if you know me, I can never sleep more than 8. Amazing.

But I had a strange dream that kept going even after I woke up to pee: I was somehow convicted to death because I shot someone (but didn't really, I was framed). It went right up to the moment where I had to go to the chair (at least that is what I was telling myself in the dream because I didn't actually see it) and somehow escaped (someone raided the jail) and was on the run for the rest of my sleeping moments (but not really because I met friends to play pool).

Then I woke up to realize I was in Germany. I have no idea which is worse.

I have no idea if that is a metaphor for my life here.

Back in Sausage Land

2008-09-20T02:48:00.002-04:00

Hey all.

I made it to Munich at least. I am sitting here waiting for my 11:25 flight staring at a 9:00 flight to the same city but alas, I cannot get on due to my luggage being checked in for the 11:25 flight.

*sigh* welcome back to the land of the inflexible,

And, to get a wonderful internet connection, I have to pay 8 euros for an hour of internet.

Welcome to the land of nothing ever, ever, being free. I already miss free wifi everywhere in the USA.

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Ironically, there is a free "coffee station" where I can get unlimited coffee and tea. So I can't complain about everything...just that it's not Starbucks coffee.

Surprisingly, I am not that tired. I was able to sleep for about 6 minutes on the plane and the flight seemed to go quickly. The sunrise view from the plane was amazing. It looked like a rainbow in the horizon.

I already miss what routine I had developed in the states. But I have my own here and that should be good enough for a while anyway.

I can say that so far, I enjoy the tameness (if that is a word) of the Germans. Compared to waiting at a gate in the US, they are much more reserved and quiet. I can do my own thing and it's not a problem not to talk to anyone.

Having said that, I had a really great conversation with 3 people at a restaurant in JFK where I paid almost 40 dollars for 2 beers and a meal. But the conversation was worth every cent...and the food and drinks were also good!

Well anyway. I will definitely write more later and post some photos. I just wanted to write some things here while my thoughts are semi-fresh and partly cohesive.

How Time Flies...

2008-09-18T06:20:00.006-04:00

It's my last full day in the states.

It's been a great time this time. The weather has been really great and I have been able to meet up with some friends.

And eat.

My god, have I eaten a lot. (Pete, I need a squash game or 10 to get back into shape!)

But, I have enjoyed every minute of it.

On Monday, my parents and I went to Niagara Falls. I haven't been there in a long time and since I wanted to try out my new camera, why not go somewhere scenic?

The place has changed quite a lot in the last 20 years. They have really renovated the strip right along the falls. I remember it being kinda dingy and now it's not so dingy anymore.

At my protest, my parents dragged me onto the Maid Of the Mist—a steamship that takes you basically into the falls. I had never been on it before and thought of it as a tourist trap.

Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. It was the best thing I have done here. I cannot do the feeling justice by putting it into words (but I'll sure try). Once the narration finished talking about the statistics of the falls and who tried going over in a barrel, etc, they steer us to horseshoe falls and the boat driver just sits us next to the falls and you hear "ladies and gentleman, this is Niagara Falls" and then you are surrounded by the sheer force of nature. Powerful. Indiscriminate. Beautiful. The narrative stops and the falls speak for themselves. It was absolutely amazing and I was on the verge of tears because of the beauty.

And I have never, ever, been that emotional about nature before.

I had the wonderful opportunity to help my friend Lou shoot a wedding as a 2nd assistant. He had a main assistant but let me come along to see how it's done and to try out my new camera and lens. It was probably the most humid day of the year—probably in my life— due to the hurricane. Yes, we feel the hurricane even way up here. But it was quite interesting and fun to see the power you have if you carry around a huge camera. The bride feels like a rock star and the guests made comments later that the 3 photographers were impressive. Nice.

I saw only one movie so far: Batman. I saw it in Germany, but dad hadn't seen it yet and they were playing it in an IMAX theater. I am glad I saw it because the picture and sound were so much better than in Germany.

I got a chance to see my brother's band as well and I am glad I did. He gave me his CD and the content kinda sounded all the same. But the live stuff was quite good and more diverse. I am looking forward to the 2nd demo.

I am a bit disappointed in the nightlife here. There are things to do but not many people get out really unless they are die hard fans. I hope it gets better someday but I don't know how since people have to drive everywhere and therefore cannot drink. (public transportation...hello?)

Anyway...I wil be sad to go tomorrow. I'll have to get back to my normal life in Dresden but at least I'll have had a nice time here and can bring back a new camera and lens!

What I and My New Camera Can Do:

2008-09-15T09:53:00.001-04:00

P.S.

And at the request of my buddy Dan, here are the numbers:

Aperture: f/32

Shutter speed: 1.6 sec

ISO 100

Tamron 17-50mm at 17mm

Canon 40D

Processed using Aperture2

:-)

USA Day One

2008-09-11T05:41:00.003-04:00

Hey all! Well, I am here! After all the traveling and all the sleeplessness, I am here and it's great to be home so far. I had a few things waiting for me already and here they are:

Yup, I am so happy to have a new camera and lens. Crazy, actually, that I have bought such a "professional" camera. Now I almost feel obligated to try to make money with it.

So far my trip as been really great. I started my time here out with a delicious steak dinner, visiting some old friends and going down to the beach to try the new camera out after visiting my brother.

On a sad note: the Starbucks right near where I live is closing. Sure, there are 2 more right near it, but what am I supposed to do??

More to come later.

The Heart of the Matter

2008-08-30T05:38:00.003-04:00

I don't know why it so scares the shit out of me.

Heart attack.

When I was a kid and was at school, we often loved the "movie classes" at school. The custodian wheeled in the movie projector (that dates me, huh), fed the film through the projector and fired up the lamp to show is some "wonderful" film. Often, it was great because it gave us a break to just passively sit and take in something. (like I didn't do enough of that at home in front of the TV )

Well, the one I remember most is a heart health movie where it has a happy daddy-type man getting up and innocently getting ready for his day. He does everything from taking a shower with him switching quickly form hot to cold to shock his body, to short sprints to the car, etc.

I don't remember much after that except for him being wheeled into a hospital on a stretcher moaning in pain.

Of course, he lives. (Thanks to the USAs *ahem* stellar health system)

But I can't get that out of my mind.

Anyone care to tell me why?

I mean, it could be that I am just a scared weenie.

Or, I had a former life and that is how I died (if you care to consider reincarnation)

I dunno.

I had a moment of silence that needed to be filled.

So there it is.

Sundog...

2008-08-23T02:14:00.001-04:00

I was riding home two days ago and saw a really nice sundog.

I had to take a photo of it.

Another Nail in the Coffin...

2008-08-22T02:50:00.002-04:00

The girlfriend didn't like my dessert sushi.

It was banana and raspberry sushi with a chocolate drizzle.

Sure, it had rice and seaweed, but still...

Now I wonder if we can ever be together.

What's Better Than a Beer After a Great Squash Game?

2008-08-18T15:05:00.000-04:00

2 Beers.

:-)

15 Plus a Dog, and a Social Experiment

2008-08-17T09:32:00.006-04:00

How does one begin a birthday blog? With a frog?

Well....

Karen made me a cake.

Me blowing out the candle.

See the gifts on the table? I found out later that they were wrapped in WALLPAPER. How cool is that??!

There is always a slight panic in my mind when having a party: how much food to buy, how much beer to have handy, snacks, etc...but it worked out wonderfully! Once everyone got to my place it turned into a nice party.

I got a coffee grinder and a gift voucher for amazon. (Thanks again!) I spent the morning tweaking the settings on the grinder and almost had caffeine overdose!

And the gift certificate has already been used.

I was a bit ambitious with the amount of people invited. Since I have a small apartment, I knew I couldn't invite everyone, but I tried. I found out the limit to what my apartment can hold comfortably: 15 people and a dog. I was counting on good weather so we could also use the balcony but that didn't work out so it was a good thing that everyone knew each other and that the beer and wine flowed the whole evening!

Wayne

Danielle and Jule

Hendrick and Delphine

Karen and Desiree

Katrin

Karen hiding behind her glass

Jessica, Torsten and Desiree

Dave

Well, 15 people, if a few go outside from time to time on the balcony to have a cigarette. (or to be the grill master)

Thanks again, everyone for coming to the party and celebrating with me!

A Day In The City

2008-08-11T13:24:00.004-04:00

What does one do when there is a whole day to spend on anything and no significant other to take pictures of you in the city?

Bring the cable trigger!

That's right. I took my tripod out and experienced what a long exposure on a windy day can do to exposures.

(hint: nothing good)

But I was able to sneak a photo of myself on the Augustusbrücke. I was getting looks from people who acted like they wanted to help, but then relieved when I said I was ok.

Lil' Sunday Morning Entertainment...

2008-08-10T02:55:00.002-04:00

For those of you not holy enough to go to church, here is something "else" to watch:

Freakiest few minutes EVER.

I'm Just Sayin;...

2008-08-09T05:15:00.003-04:00

It's no secret that I have an irrational fear of bees.

Yes, I was stung once when I was little and it has psychologically scarred me.

Yes, I don't like icky insects butting into my life.

I'm just sayin': if I stumbled into their nest, I'd be stung mercilessly.

I'm returning the sentiment.

Bring it on.

One is German "let's-be-sensitive-to-mother-nature-and-wasps" chrysanthemum blossom spray. (it's cruel, actually - it kills the wasp slowly) The other is American "scorch-the-earth-while-killing-the-nest" spray.

Either way, I'm ready. I refuse to close my windows. I refuse to change my life to live in fear of these disgusting, useless*, intrusive insects.

*I know they are not useless. I just think they should all die.

Bust Out That Scotch!

2008-08-08T02:02:00.005-04:00

The other night I stumbled across a video on the internet and decided to grab myself a drink and watch the 2 hour free video. (link given after a verbal bitch slapping from Toby)

It was of "the 4 horsemen" who are Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens, a group of 4 scientist/philosopher/free-thinkers who have all written books about science, religion, philosophy and rational thinking.

I recommend any of the books from any of these authors. Maybe at the end you'll disagree with what they say, but they are extremely intelligent and make a really strong case.

Anyway, I decided to bust out the Talisker and have a drink with my current idol Christopher Hitchens. He's as smart as he is witty and I love his take-no-crap way of arguing.

If only we all could be so critical in our thinking as these men.

Some Of My Duckies In a Row...

2008-08-04T01:28:00.003-04:00

2 Weeks without the girlfriend can be interpreted different ways. I can sit here and be sad and feel lonely, or I can try to proactively do something new.

I am inspired from a co-worker's site (I hesitate calling him a friend at this point only because of the German definition of friend being that we've "had a beer together" keeping me from saying it. Come on, Toby, let's get a beer together sometime!) and while I am essentially as strong as a wet noodle, I want to try to do 100 push-ups. Here is the site.

While contemplating the whole "will my bad shoulders handle the stress" question, I also went out with my snazzy bike computer (attached to the bike, of course) to map out a nice 5KM route to try to jog 4 times a week. (I popped the back tire and had to walk almost the whole way) I am quite sure I can do 5KM, it doesn't seem that hard, but I'd like to get up to 10KM. Who knows...this whole thing may be delusional but I want to try it.

The 70-200mm lens is up on ebay. I want to buy the next best version: the Image Stabilization version.

I'm thinking of selling the Fender guitar because my teens-through-twenties pipe dream of becoming a rock star is over. I could use the money for camera stuff...and by "stuff", I mean a new camera body.

While I'm at it, I have a question: the camera body I want is only about 100 dollars more expensive here but that includes a 2 year E.U. warranty. Should I just buckle and get it? Whaddya all think?

South Bohemia

2008-07-29T14:31:00.003-04:00

Did another bike tour on the weekend. This time, we went to Prague and had Ivana's best friend and her boyfriend come along with us.

We had a car this time. More mobility. :-)

We started off in god-knows-where and was quickly told about the controversial nuclear power plant: here.

It's a Soviet station with American technology...weird mix.

Anyway, we got to our B&B and biked around for a day. We started off in Hluboka nad Vltavou, a small town with a nice castle.

Then we went to Holašavice where there was a street festival going on.

The bike ride along the countryside was really relaxing and quite what I needed.

The next day, we went to český Krumlov, another UNSECO city and, I might add, quite a nice city.

After that, we went back to Prague for the trip home.

This weekend, the girlfriend is off to be a tour guide in Scotland. That means I can rest for a couple weekend. I need it.

Bring It On...

2008-07-24T14:26:00.003-04:00

A Chat...

2008-07-23T14:38:00.001-04:00

Friend: Hey ... I looked at that picture on your blog and

Me: which pic?

Friend: the one in the garden globe

Me: and?

Friend: well it looks like the tan part of the strap of the camera COULD be something else

Me :that is AWESOME! LOL I am TOTALLY blogging that.

45 Miles, Saddle Sore, and Knees Hurting...

2008-07-21T11:56:00.002-04:00

...is how I came to Ivana's birthday celebration on Saturday. It was at her Grandparent's garden in the middle of nowhere. (Everyone in Europe seems to have a garden area somewhere near where they live and they often celebrate parties there)

Anyway...it's no fun going to a family party when you don't speak the language. At all. None. I mean, I can say: "my name is...", "give me please...", and other survival phrases, but that quickly becomes obsolete when trying to enter into a political conversation.

And this is what I find funny: these wonderful language learning books have so many "useful" phrases such as "the cat is on the mat" or "the monkey is on the branch" and it's really hard to use them in any conversation.*

Them: "Bob, when going into a store in America, do you have to pay with a credit card?"

Me: "Uh, the cat is on the mat?"

So, I felt kinda like a piece of furniture they lug around during a family visit.

But the good thing was that I spoke to her grandparents in German (80 years ago this area was a part of Germany so most people that age can speak it) and that was ok...all 5 minutes of it.

The garden was quite beautiful and I was able to take some nice pics, and tried to get a picture of a bee in flight but it turned out to be much harder than I thought. Those wily bees!

* This is Eddie Izzard. I cannot claim originality to this situation, but I can relate!

Possible Negative To Being A Weatherman

2008-07-18T00:30:00.000-04:00

Not Getting Any Better...

2008-07-15T05:04:00.001-04:00

I'm being mocked:

Baiting the Gods

2008-07-10T03:23:00.005-04:00

Murphy's Law took a big, stinky dump on me.

So...a week ago I bought an air conditioner to combat the oppressive heat here in my apartment.

Well...take a look at the forecast:

So, I may have to try to bait the gods for it to get hot.

Anyone got any ideas??

Proof

2008-07-09T15:37:00.002-04:00

We have recommenced the bowling tradition here in Dresden.

Look:

First, it's "Wayne" and not "Wagno", but other than that, I RULED!!!!

Goodbye

2008-07-07T15:12:00.003-04:00

It's a happy goodbye.

Karen with Vera trying to get her to look at me.

All of us on the balcony.

I went to Pete and Karen's yesterday to have one last coffee with a co-worker, her husband and their daughter. It was bittersweet for me. This life here exposes me to many transient people and sometimes the really good ones have to go, too.

Gary, Sarah, and Vera are off to Canada to begin the next chapter of their lives.

I am sad to see them go but happy that they have a great future ahead of them.

Good luck, and you will be missed!

I Give Up

2008-07-06T03:34:00.002-04:00

This article pushed me over the edge.

Along with all the others: bio diesel is driving food prices up; Hummer clubs are suffering* because gas prices are so high; honey bees are becoming extinct...

We seem to be trying to compensate for our cushy lifestyles. But it's not working.

And science is partially to blame. But I have to give scientists credit: they are at least trying. Do you have energy saving lights (probably carcinogenic we'll find out in a few years) in your house? When was the last time you carpooled?

But come on...gas prices are not going to fall back to "normal". It's clear to the politicians and the oil companies that people will simply pay for the gas they need. They collect record profits and we have to take bicycles.

And that could be a blessing in disguise. People would at least be more active.

But I am just plain tired of being told that the consumer choice I make it the correct one or the "better" one and then being told a year later that it was wrong. Seriously, do scientist not have the foresight for this? What is the cause?

Simply: why??!

We as humans are an easily manipulated lot. Just look at the few headlines I can recall from childhood to now: Eggs are healthy/Eggs are not healthy, Butter is bad/Butter is better than margarine, There are definitely WMDs/there are not WMDs, Smoking doesn't kill/smoking kills...I'm sure I could search the internet for more but I think the point is made. We need to become more informed. Myself included. Critical thinking needs to be promoted and used in daily life. I believe that the media relies on the general lack of subject specific education and critical thinking to, perhaps, manipulate the masses.

*I think that Hummers are the most unnecessary vehicles in the history of vehicles. The fact that someone bought this monstrosity and now cannot afford to "feed" it is, to me, poetic justice. Fuck Hummers!

The 'Ol Carbon Footprint Just Got a Bit Bigger...

2008-07-02T14:08:00.002-04:00

Say hello to my little friend:

That's right. Fuck the 85 degree room I have to sleep in. I am contributing to Global Warming that much more but I need to sleep.*

After 2 hours, it's now 77 in here...we're getting better...

*Side note: I don't have a car and I use energy saving lights. So I think I am still way behind the average when it comes to energy consumption.

Italy Part 2

2008-06-30T12:44:00.006-04:00

Well, well....where were we?

Yeah, Lerici.

Well...Lerici is where we ended last year. A campsite right on the water; a small free beach 5 minutes from there. Plus it was (again) uphill.

We got to LaSpezia later in the afternoon on Friday and as we were trekking up to the campsite I was worried that we'd have no place to camp. It was, after all, the weekend and we could have been screwed. Especially since it was later in the day.

Well, I couldn't have been more wrong.

As we entered the site I asked if there was a place for us and the answer was a definite "yes".

It turned out that we were one of the only tents there for about 4 days! It was really great to have a campsite "just for us".

But I quickly found out why: it was very rainy for a couple days. We had some of the worst rain on our vacation those first two nights. It was quite romantic in the way that buckets of water being dumped on you for hours at a time and what is separating you is a millimeter of fabric...nice. For 3 days we woke up, shook the water and debris off of us, dried our stuff off and went on with our day.

After 3 days, we were thinking of moving on to somewhere more south. We asked the locals what the weather would be like—and even tried to read the weather in the local paper—and found out that they knew about as much as we did!

Side note: seriously...what is it with weathermen? They never really get the weather correct. If I don 't do my job correctly, I get fired. What happens to them??? Nothing.

Anyway...we stuck it out for another day and we are glad we did. The weather finally got better. She could do her beach thing and I could do my photo thing.

I went to the Cinque Terra by myself on Wednesday. Ivana didn't want to go because she was there twice already in her life. I wanted to go to re-take some photos I'd wanted to re-take for whatever reason. It wasn't the best day for photos but I did alright.

I got to Corniglia and there are 2 ways to get to the center: bus or walking up 382 motherfucking steps to get there (told you everything was uphill).

How do I know it was 382 steps?

Yep, they let you know. Little did they know it's 425 steps to our Lerici campsite and 450 in Verona...I was trained. Heh heh....

So, after having an ice cream, shooting some pictures and checking out the store that has "Hitler wine" and "Stalin beer" I went back to LaSpezia and to the campsite.

We had our favorite cheese almost every night: gorgonzola marscapone. Seriously, it is a taste of heaven.

7 nights in Lerici is too much. We saw everything the city could offer and we realized that 3 or 4 days would have been enough. But waking up everyday to the sea crashing against the rocks, eating dinner by the sea was worth the extra days and I love this place.

We did some posing for the camera:

After having our fill of Lerici, we went a bit north to Rapallo, a, as we later found out, shit hole of a campground and not much better of a city. It was dirty, chaotic and no lie: 7 gas stations in a row. Yuck.

And, again, the bus schedule was really not at all understandable. We got off, luckily, one stop further than we needed to and walked to the site.

We did a bit of sightseeing but it didn't really impress me too much. We decided to try Portofino the next day.

Portofino is where rich people come to fill up their yachts and buy extremely overpriced yacht clothing. Seriously, I felt sooooo poor there. And everywhere I looked, there were these "Biff and Muffy" types walking around speaking in rather pretentious accents. Yuck.

After visitng "my" castle, we headed back to Rapallo and gave Ivana a birthday dinner: anything she wanted in a restaurant. She chose crab. It was her first time eating it and the look on her face when when she got a bowl of pasta with 1/2 a cooked crab on top was funny. Her first question was "what do I do?". So, I have to show her how to eat a crab. (I have no idea how but managed to fudge my way through it)

After that, we had to get up early the next day to head to Milan. This was the longest day of my life. Up at 5, travel to Milan and to the airport, to Prague and then a train to Dresden. I was home at 9:30. Ugh.

All in all, it was a great trip!

Italy Part 1

2008-06-23T15:17:00.010-04:00

I guess it's too much to write about a 2 week trip in one entry, so I'll do this: I'll write about the first week and then I'll write about the second week.

2 Blog entries. Nice.

So here we go!

The beginning of the trip went well. We had to fly from Prague to Milan. Because I am a stickler for getting to the airport before check-in opens so we can get checked in right away, I made Ivana come with me earlier than normal (check-in opened at 1:25 and I told her 1) because she can sometimes have a time management problem*.

So, to her shock, we got to the airport about 30 minutes earlier than we should have. But that gave me time to have a coffee from my favorite coffee company!

So then it was off to Milan! The flight was fine. 1 hour and 15 minutes. There was a little girl in front of us who was trying her flirting out with all the males around her. It was quite cute to see a 2 year old manipulate men as well as seeing Ivana get just a little jealous. :-)

As a side note though: Europeans are much better travelers than American when it comes to public transport. A full Airbus plane boarded in 15 minutes. I mean boarded, sat, and ready for take-off. I have never seen an American flight like that. Must be all the busses, etc they use here.

So, we landed in Milan. I have no fond memory of Milan from last year and it was not fair to think of it as a dirty disgusting city because all we saw last year was the train station and the airport.

Well, Milan is not so bad. The touristy part is quite small and you only really need a day to see it all but I have a better opinion of the city.

We saw the big cathedral and was assaulted by the pigeon people. As we were reading about them in our guidebook it happened. It's actually quite clever: someone will walk up to you and say "welcome to Italy!" and hold out your hand and place corn in it and some pigeons will land on your arm and eat the food out of your hand. For an unsuspecting tourist, it's a nice experience and harmless up to this point. Then, they ask for money. Even if you refuse to let them place the seeds in your hand they ask for money. Well, they got Ivana and asked me for the money (another trick) and we managed to get away without giving them money. Must have been the travel guide. But I managed to get a picture:

The rain, on the other hand, was terrible. Actually, it's not fair to curse the rain. It was a combination of rain and closing the direct subway to our hotel at 9 (unbeknownst to us) forcing us to fend for ourselves to get back to our place with a small Lonely Planet map and the bus schedules in Italy. So, it took us an hour and a half to walk about a half hour's walk simple because we had no clue where we were going.

That is one small criticism to Italy: ORGANIZE YOUR PUBLIC TRANSPORT SCHEDULES! I know I am living in the land of order (I had a Freudian slip and wrote odor) and have become quite used to how everything is clearly spelled out and logically presented but come on...the bus stops were not labeled and there was no map to show us where it was coming from or where it was going. So we had to guess. Not good on our first night.

The next day, we went back to the same area to see what it looked like during the day without buckets of water falling on us. It was kinda the same but we were able to go into the cathedral and see a mass being held. It was kinda freaky because we walked just as they were doing a saints prayer or something. The priest kept listing off names of saints and the congregation kept chanting the same thing over and over.

So after that, it was off to Lake Garda for sun and swimming!

Ahem...psst...it didn't happen....

We got to this area, Peschiera, and it was pouring. We waited at the train station (over a cappuccino, thankyouverymuch) only to find out an hour later that we could have walked to the campground in 15 minutes. Nice. So we walked to one of the many different campgrounds that were there.

I saw a kid wipe out on a Vespa and was able to practice my Italian with him by saying: "ok?" and he replied: "si,si". And Ivana bought a book to learn Italian...hmmph.

We got to a campsite and it was fully booked. taking pity on us, the reception person offered to give us a small place near a bungalow. It wasn't a real place, but it was a place to put a tent in and sleep for the night. After hmmming and hawing about it, we took it and we learned what a 4 star camp ground is all about.

There is a rating system, like for hotels, for campgrounds. As best as I can tell, 4 stars means there are washing machines for clothing, a real supermarket, real toilets (I'll get into that later) and a restaurant.

Ivana's thrifty side came out a bit for the price of this place especially since we weren't really getting a place, but it worked out in the end.

We wandered around the town and managed to duck out of the rain for a drink here, and ice cream there. I'd never go back to this place, but it was nice.

The next morning I took my *ahem* instant coffee and left the campground and sat out by the water and took some photos and sat and tried to get into vacation-mode. Seriously, the first couple days I am so focused on getting to where we have to be that I cannot relax until a day or two later.

It's a curse, I know.

Anyway, we had planned to spend some time around this lake area—camping here and there to get some sun and for Ivana to go swimming—but the weather was so bad we decided to chuck it out and head for Verona. So, later that day, that is exactly what we did.

Off to Verona.

Aside from the guidebook, I had n o idea about Verona. I know one of my favorite coffees from Starbucks is named after it, so it has to be ok.

Well, it was more than that. It was so nice we actually lost a day there!

We arrived in the station and had to orientate ourselves a bit. The bus directions from the internet were for monday through saturday. We arrived on Sunday and the busses we needed to take were not running (thanks, again, Italy). With some help, we managed to get into a bus we prayed was going to where we had to be. We spoke with a very helpful man on the bus who assured us it was the correct bus and showed us where to go.

Uphill. It seemed everything in Italy was uphill. And not "just up that hill" but 500-steps-uphill fucking uphill. And that was where our campsite was waiting for us.

This campground was much nicer. It was a "2-star" place (no restaurant or washing machines) but it was run by two hippie guys and it was cheap. Plus the view from the terrace was amazing.

This particular campsite was owned by a botanist and these hippie guys converted it into a campground. they run it and the botanist owns the property. How I know this is interesting...the one brother was quite chatty and generous. He gave us a really nice bottle of wine when we checked-out.

Verona is so cool! We had in our minds that it was a gigantic city but after walking around, we realized it wasn't so big. Everything was centered around 2 main squares: the market square and the colosseum. Once we walked to those two places, we were set.

The first day in a city is always strange. You arrive from a different place and have to get used to the sites and sounds of a new city. Plus, you have to find out where the important things are such as the ice cream shops. (you have not had ice cream until you've been to Italy)

So, we got our bearings the first day. The next day was to be the official tourist day.

The next day started out well. We went down to the colosseum area because I wanted to go in. I'd never been in one before and thought it would be cool.

It was cool! Ok, they have converted it into an outdoor concert arena, but the marble is still there and you can get a feeling of ho many people sat in this 3rd largest colosseum in the world.

Verona is also famous for Romeo and Juliet. Juliet's house was here so we had to, naturally, go and see what it was like. There is a bronze bust of Juliet and apparently, rubbing her right breast brings luck. I couldn't get close enough to touch it but I suppose I don't need luck.

We wandered around Verona, from church to church and square to square, and had a nice time. It wasn't too warm, which was nice, and we could see clouds forming in the distance and decided to head back to the campsite because we didn't take umbrellas with us.

Boy was it good we did that. The heavens opened up and gave us peanut sized hail and it was absolutely crazy for an hour.

The next day, after shaking ourselves out of the tent and drying everything off, we went to Padova.

Padova is a nice little town famous for the 1st University in Italy (or the world, I can't remember) and a basilica-type-church thing. Plus, it has the oldest botanical garden in Europe.

I have to say that I wasn't that impressed with most of Padova. I had a nice pizza there but the sites and the feel of the city were not "my thing". Ivana seemed to like it much better but she has a green thumb and really enjoyed the botanical garden. I enjoyed the basilica-type-church thing because I was allowed to go in. Ivana had a string top on that showed her shoulders and apparently god does not like women's shoulders.

The next day we wanted to go to Venice but because we had a late start and missed the train (the come every 2 hours) we decided to tour Verona again and go to Venice the next day.

We went to the castle, where a museum was inside, and spent a good couple hours there. It wasn't the fanciest castle—it was made from red brick and wasn't that impressive—but it killed a couple hours and it was nice to not rush around all day long. By this time, I started noticing that my feet were quite sensitive to the cobbled streets and sidewalks. My feet absolutely killed me for most of the trip.

Anyway, we went along the other side of the river to a really cool looking building that I took many pictures of from the terrace. It turned out to be a museum, but it was closed. But at least I know what it was.

The next day was Venice.

Venice was spectacular. Really. Everywhere you look is a beautiful picture and the channels through the city give it a nice romantic feeling.

The only thing I wasn't happy about was the prices of food and drinks. A cappuccino at St. Mark's square was 9 euros. Uh, that's 14 dollars. No way. They can keep their coffee, thankyouverymuch, and I found a little place about 5 minutes from that area that served a very mediocre but more affordable coffee.

Ivana got the museum bug and decided to get some culture. I decided against culture (fuck that!) and I spent a couple hours taking photos and just sitting (did I mention my feet were killing me?)

We were both happy after a couple hours and decided to wander back to the station to get "home". We took a completely different way back. So different, in fact, that we almost got lost. Of course, knowing our train left a a certain time and trying to make it before that time put a bit of stress on me. Not Ivana. She was looking for a necklace. See, she has this time management thing.* If a bus is scheduled to come, say at 12:30, she's quite happy to sit down and make a coffee at 12:20 and relax before racing like a motherfucker to make the 12:30 bus.

I am not built that way. I want to get there in time....relaxed...no stress...

No.

We had to rush a bit. But she got the necklace.

The next day, we decided to head towards Lerici (our favorite spot in Italy so far).

And that is the 1st entry. I'll write more when I have time.

Back From Italy

2008-06-23T03:01:00.003-04:00

Yep.

I made it back in one piece and I am happy to be home. I'll write much more about Italy, Vespas, Ice Cream, Coffee, "ciao", Verona, Venice, and all the ups and downs of Italy later...after I sort and process the 1300 photos waiting for me.

Until then, say hi to my first-sunday-morning-in-italy-coffee company:

And now I have to go shopping.

Off To Italy!

2008-06-06T03:30:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone. It's time again for a trip to the beautiful country.

We have managed to fit everything we need into 2 backpacks for a 2 week camping trip. Unbelieveable! But we're off!

I'll write more once I return...with photos hopefully. The weather says it may be rainy. Damn.

He's Back!

2008-06-03T14:04:00.002-04:00

Yep, the nice friendly looking and very loud blackbird is back.

And I got him.

Something That Annoys Me

2008-05-29T04:32:00.002-04:00

I love my girlfriend. Honestly.

But she is on skype and I type "hi" and push send.

I get back: "testing." and then the DND symbol comes up.

I just don't understand. If you don't want people to write to you, then don't log on!

Am I illogical? Irrational?

Why Technology Isn't For Everyone

2008-05-26T13:53:00.002-04:00

I bought my mom a web camera for Skype calls.

This is what I get when we talk via Skype:

Does This Picture Tell You How My Hay Fever Is????

2008-05-25T14:04:00.003-04:00

Ewwwwww....

2008-05-19T14:25:00.005-04:00

I don't like this time of year.

Not because of the world coming back to life with Spring, no.

It's the pollen. I am allergic and have hay fever terribly here.

So, I was doubly disgusted when taking pictures of coffee in my homemade light box today.

See??

Nice, huh?? Well, the stock photography site won't take it. Because if you look closer, you will see this:

Pollen everywhere! Damn pollen! *shaking fist at the heavens*

Simple Math

2008-05-18T14:29:00.000-04:00

Bob+German credit card+Amazon=bad idea.

Hello.

2008-05-18T12:29:00.003-04:00

Not much to report. Ivana showed up on Friday with a gift: food poisoning. So, I did the noble thing and stayed by her side the whole of Friday night.

She felt much better on Saturday and the weather was nice and I was going stir crazy so she let me out. I went down to the city to shoot some photos in the early morning before it got too hot.

Turned out, it was a lucky thing because it started to rain when I got home.

Later, we went out to meet some of her friends who were here visiting. We took them for coffee and wandered around the city a bit and then had to go over to Dave's for a BBQ.

All in all it was a nice weekend.

My Fetish Part 2

2008-05-14T14:40:00.001-04:00

See it?? Is there anything in the world sexier than a snappy bag??

Thought not.

This is my new Crumpler bag (the daily 490, to be exact).

Love it.

Green just happens to be my favorite color, too.

Bob happy.

Prague-o-saur

2008-05-14T10:50:00.003-04:00

Last weekend, I went to Prague.

I love Prague.

It was a place I haven't been to since about this time last year and my heart is there. Has been since 2006. There is s certain magic to the city and I can never get tired of walking through the streets.

So, we went. We went to the Czech National Museum. It's a lovely place and it has a beautiful interior. Anyone who has seen "Mission Impossible" has seen this interior.

Plus, there are a few dinosaur skeletons.

So, I wandered, sleepily and half interested, through the national history. (i.e. lots of rocks and descriptions in Czech which you learn to ignore after a while) and stopped to rest on a bench.

I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, it's not a boring museum. I just get "museum fatigue" much faster then the average person.

So there.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T04:55:00.000-04:00

Stupid Hallmark holiday.

Come on! EVERY day should be mother's day!

Mom, I hope you have a good day, and even though I am so far away, I was thinking about you.

Love ya!

My Fetish

2008-05-08T15:39:00.001-04:00

I suppose everyone has one.

I know I do. It wasn't recognized as one til about 6 years ago and now I can admit it.

I have a fetish for gadget bags.

That's right. The more buckles, straps and functions something has, the more I want to buy it.

I just bought a new camera bag today to use in Italy. I didn't NEED it, but I wanted it.

In fact, I confessed to a female co-worker today that I had this fetish and she said that needing something has nothing to do with wanting it or buying it.

I think I agree.

One For The Books...

2008-04-30T10:10:00.005-04:00

What did I do last weekend??

I risked my life on a shoddy cable lift thing to go hiking down a hill.

It was probably the first time in a long, long time when I was really scared for my life. I had thoughts of how it may be if the cable snapped and I went plummeting to my death...how it wold happen, how it would feel...it was wrong.

We had it in our minds to not waste a nice day and I wasn't in the mood for a bike ride, so we went with Ivana's freinds to this location (I have no idea what it's called) and took a nice ride up a small mountain (when I said hill, that is an understatement). Anyway, it was a nice day.

Fast forward 2 days...

I was in Berlin for a meeting and what does one do while in the country's capitol??

Sightseeing?? Culture activities??

No! I bought Starbucks coffee.

I know, I am an addict, but my morning coffee is the only thing I look forward to in my mornings and I really look forward to it, so spending 50 dollars on coffee is not a problem for me. :-)

So, Bob is happy. Very happy.

Red Five Standing By...

2008-04-23T13:59:00.002-04:00

I have no excuse except I have been wrapped up in a game—Star Wars: Empire at War.

I know: I am a loser-geek. But wouldn't you like to play a game where you can control the very universe that impacted my whole childhood!!

Yeah, I've lost probably 3 days playing this damn game (loving every minute of it, thankyouverymuch).

But I do have things to report. I was finally accepted into iStock for stock photography. Ok, I have no idea if they'll take any of my photos, but we'll see. I'm on my way to being a semi-pro photographer.

Also, last week, I went and shot some pictures of Vera, and it was a blast. In about 2 hours, I got to see a wide range of baby emotions and for the most part it was all positive. She's a happy baby.

Let's see...life is good, job is ok, still playing squash, lost 12 lbs so far....can't think of much more to write at the moment. I just wated to post something because I feel guilty.

What Does One Do With A Weekend Alone?

2008-04-14T15:03:00.002-04:00

Well...after a visit from the migraine fairy on Saturday, I got up nice and early and took a bike ride down the river and back.

See the pic? See how there are no people?? It was great!

It's a strange thing here: once the weather gets even a little bit nice, the people start to aimlessly wander out and down to the bike path where they make perfect obstacles to try to navigate around. Ever see a zombie movie? Imagine that with zombies who have no idea they may want to think about maybe getting out of the way of a bike careening towards them.

So I think that anytime before 10 (translation: before the Germans have skipped off to the bakery to later stuff themselves with "fresh" rolls) is a great time to be on the river bike path.

Anyway, it was a nice day and I was glad to be out. I took a few photos but nothing really good..yet.

Bloggie Blog

2008-04-10T12:39:00.004-04:00

I'm still here.

MoFos!

It's amazing what no ambition will do to your life. I sat here for days and watched as my apartment, in protest, closed in on me. So out came the vacuum and the all-purpose cleaner.

I managed to hack my way through a lot of it but I have so much more organizing to do. Most of it's in my head (as most people say your surroundings reflect your state of mind) and I am working on that too.

My goal for this year was to get more active. Well...I can say that cutting back on the 'ol beer drinkie drink, exercising more (thanks again shoulder!) and watching what I eat (not so many carbs even though I love bread and sugar), I've managed to lose 7 pounds and I am on my way down!

So, that's one tick on the 'ol listie list.

Next: stock photography. Why not try to make some money selling photos?

Well, 3 rejections later and I am trying again. I won't give up. I'm gonna get in and I know it.

I went bowling last night and KICKED ASS, thankyouverymuch. And this was after 4 fairly intense games of squash. In which I lost 3 of 4 games.

I have the weekend free. The woman is going to some rehearsal and I don't feel like being the 5th wheel so I'll use the weekend to do "guy" things. (meaning: act like a slob and fart all I want)

Spring refuses in its frustrating stubbornness to finally just fucking ARRIVE already!

I put a bird house out on my balcony. I'd love to see if a bird is insane enough to shack up there. But I am bribing them: I bought bird food. I figure, I can't be frustrated about xyz bird making a ruckus if I invite them. So now at least they have a reason for chirping near me.

If I can just figure out what to do with their shit...they are not the most sanitary birdie birds. And it's not something you can collect and trade in for stamps or something.

Kerplunk.

Blah Blah Blah

2008-04-07T11:19:00.002-04:00

Yeah, it's been a while and I have no good excuse. Spring hasn't been very good to Dresden so far this year. The weather has been more on the cold side and the trees and flowers struggle to blossom.

I have been more active recently and I feel really good about it. I am back to my once a week squash routine and it feels good that my shoulder is finally working well again.

I have been stuffed twice by iStock photo. Apparently my photos aren't good enough. But I'll keep trying.

Other than that, I am looking forward to a light week at work (which isn't bad except that I need money for my Italy trip in 2 months).

That's all. Over and out.